emilioestevez:

story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

(via beyondhighh)

48,059 notes
crazyflux: im following back tons and promoting today!
enasnivolz: ealperin: reading-thoughts: edwardspoonhands: Not Iambic….Do Not Accept… These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming versethat what I wear puts swagger in my gait;though twenty shillings have I in my purse,my self-esteem and manhood both inflatewhen lofty furs I purchase for a cent.Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, thoughthey smell a trifle musty. Still, I spentmuch less to dress myself from head to toe. To save or not to save? The question’s moot.I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.These dusty shelves will yield their hidden lootto those, like me, more frugal in their looks.Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.      - Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe” *Crying with laughter* ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.

vagisodium:

vagisodium:

i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out

this post has 99,000 notes can you guess how many people have made out with me since i made it the answer is 0

(via a-redemption-under-construction)

205,887 notes

slackerinwonderland:

goodbye—blueskies:

n3ck-deep:

If you want to eat pizza and watch Lord of the Rings or Star Wars all day with the occasional sexual break, then you are marriage material.

edit: if you want to do all that, and get high as fuck and watch The Wall and listen to Dark Side of The Moon then we can definitely be married. just sayin

(Source: gn4rwolves, via wheredaphuckaremyzigzagsnlytaz)

61,696 notes
biitchesaintshiibuthoesntriicks: smoke-thc-drop-lsd: lol remember when somebody was like THATS NOT HOW YOU USE A BONG never forget^^^^^^^^^^^^
letmefeelyoushine: sagansense: “The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition.” •Carl Sagan This is one of those images that just makes you go, “woah.”
bueno: issued: finalizings: history we shouldve trusted you kanye i laughed so hard
themecredit.